This post has been sitting in the drafts for several days. I wasn’t going to post it, but with the demonization of Donald Trump for expressing his sexual interest in women via the word p*ssy, I thought this story would make a nice contrast to the press’s hysteria over Trump’s interest in vaginal sex with women.
Emma (should it be spelled Enema?) Phillips is being hailed as a hero for going public with her anal fixation.
At least Trump aims for an entry point, not an exit point, when he shows sexual interest in women.
Enema Phillips is a school teacher. What a wonderful role model for students.
She may have a new career in porn or at least a job testing and endorsing anal sex toys.
Really, who would want to go public with this story other than a shameless sexual deviant?
A student teacher has spoken about how she got a vibrator stuck up her backside during sex.
Emma Phillips, a mother of one from Wallasey, Merseyside, first thought boyfriend Lee had hidden the vibrator under a pillow as a prank.
But then when she pressed down on her stomach she felt a buzzing inside her. They tried to remove it using a fork handle and barbecue prongs but all efforts failed.
She was rushed to hospital to have the sex toy taken out and now Emma wants to warn people not to be afraid of getting help in embarrassing situations.
Emma, 24, said: ‘We were looking around the bed in case it had fallen out. ‘When I leaned on my stomach I could feel it vibrating – it was stuck low down and at one point was even wedged behind my hip.’
‘He tried a kitchen fork handle, which we won’t be using again, and said he could feel it at one point but that it was too far up – it was a goner.
‘He tried barbecue prongs too but after a certain point – after an hour of trying – we knew were going to have to go to hospital. We were both a bit shocked.’
After initially seeing the funny side Emma said that they quickly realised that she’d need medical help.
Emma said: ‘We’d both been drinking the night before so we couldn’t drive. I had to make the most embarrassing call to the ambulance at 7am.
‘The call handler said ‘tell me exactly what the problem is’ so I had to tell him.’
During the 45-minute journey to Wrexham Maelor Hospital in Wrexham, North Wales, Emma was perched on one of the seats and was hurried into a room for observations.
Emma said: ‘At that point it was just more surreal than anything. I didn’t feel much pain at that point – I was in too much shock.’
Doctors carried out an x-ray to work out where the still-buzzing vibrator was and realised it was too high up and would be too painful for them to manually extract it while she was awake.
Emma said: ‘I think at that point it started getting quite serious. The doctors were really good – they all moved quite quickly and were so reassuring telling me they saw it quite often which was quite a relief.
‘At first we were jokey about it but then realised it wasn’t much of a joke especially when there was talk of going through my stomach if they couldn’t get it.’
As she was being wheeled to theatre doctors told Emma if they couldn’t extract it rectally they would have to go through the bowel and take some out which could mean at least six months with a colostomy bag.
Emma said: ‘I think before that I thought of it as just a little operation to get it out, I still wasn’t taking it that seriously.
‘When he said that – that only when I woke up would I know whether they would have to cut me open – it was really scary.’
At 12pm Emma underwent the minute-and-a-half surgery which involved placing a camera down her throat and the surgeon pressing on her stomach before manually extracting it.
Doctors offered her the toy as a keepsake but she declined.
She was discharged at around 6.30pm before tentatively making her way home to see her two-year-old daughter.
Emma said: ‘My daughter was staying with my mum and dad as I stayed at Lee’s the night before.
‘I wasn’t going to tell them but then I was going into surgery I knew we were going to have to say something so I told my mum the real reason.
‘I just took some painkillers and was told not to use stuff like that again until I was ready. I’ve learnt that I’ll need to be a bit more careful in the future.
‘Lee’s not been scarred by it – he just thinks it’s funny. I think he should have one up his bum and take one for the team.’
Emma now wants to raise awareness and urge anyone in a similar predicament to seek medical attention.
Emma said: ‘We weren’t going to do anything about it because of the embarrassment – there’s a big taboo about it – but we knew we needed help.
‘I want to say a massive thankyou to the ambulance crew and Wrexham Hospital staff who were really good, really reassuring and non-judgmental.
‘There is a big taboo about this, but it really isn’t a big deal.
‘You hear about people becoming really ill or even dying because they’re too embarrassed to get help – I would hate that to happen to someone.’
A Betsi Cadwaladr University Health Board spokesman said: ‘While we cannot comment on individual cases, we’re very pleased to hear that the lady in question was happy with the treatment she received while in our care.
‘We would always urge people to exercise the utmost care and caution to prevent any unfortunate or potentially dangerous repercussions, and to seek the right care if any accidents occur.’
Vibrators are dangerous, eh? Obama and Hillary would ban them except that would end their sex lives for good.