Wild! Meghan Markle’s Estranged Jew Half-Sister Slams Prince Harry

Harry’s jungle fever is already starting to have some negative repercussions.

Get used to it, Harry old chap. When you marry someone, you marry into their family.

If Britain gets lucky, this whole clown show could mean the end of the Royal Family.

Fox News

Meghan Markle’s half-sister has a bone to pick with her future brother-in-law.

Samantha Grant, who shares a father with the “Suits” actress, sounded off on Twitter after Prince Harry made some comments about his family’s Christmas celebrations with his fiancée Markle.

MEGHAN MARKLE, LEFT, FATHER TOM, AND BABY NEPHEW.

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Ratings Plunge Continues to Plague the NFL as CNN Tries to Deflect Attention from Kneelers

SUNDAY NIGHT’S RAVENS V. STEELERS WAS A RATINGS BUST.

CNN would have its readers believe that the Negro Felon League’s ratings are down because a number of star players are injured and haven’t been on the field. The problem with that explanation is that the sport always has injured players. Something unique to this year, kneelers for example, have to be the real explanation.

Trying to source a story from CNN is a pain because I get a full page popup of despicable butt bandit Anderson Cooper wanting to sent me his top 5 stories or whatever. I have to X him out as quickly as possible since he gives me the creeps.

Anyway, last Sunday night’s big game set a new low in the ratings. That says that we the people may have more pain left to inflict on the sport that decided to go political on the public.

CNN

The NFL’s premiere game of the week took a big hit in TV ratings on Sunday night, despite it being a close game.

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Kaepernick’s Visit to NYC Jail Sparks Outrage Among Guards

Local authorities gave unemployed NFL kneeler Colin Kaepernick special permission to give a talk to inmates at the Rikers Island jail.

What could go wrong?

Corrections officers, many of whom would be black, understood that Kaepernick’s visit would encourage black inmates to attack them.

Kaepernick gets special treatment because he played pro football for a few years. Otherwise, no one would care what he says. Well, maybe the white family who adopted him would care about his contempt for the white race.

USA Today

NEW YORK (AP) — A visit by Colin Kaepernick to New York’s Rikers Island jail facility has drawn a rebuke from the union that represents city correction officers.

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Monkey Food: Prince Harry and Meghan Markle want wedding cake made from banana, source claims

MEGHAN MARKLE ENJOYING HER FAVORITE SNACK.

I couldn’t make this story up if I tried really hard.

The Prince and his Duchess are going to be giving us many amusing moments in the future, it appears.

Excerpt from The Telegraph

Thirteen months ago, Meghan Markle’s cryptic Instagram post of two bananas “cuddling” signalled the start of her whirlwind romance with Prince Harry.

The picture – accompanied by the message “sleep tight” and two kisses – sent fans into overdrive as they speculated that it was likely a symbol of their long-distance love.

Now, it seems, the fruit is set to play a central role in their wedding too.

The Daily Telegraph can reveal that the couple, who announced their engagement last week, are planning on marking their big day with a wedding cake made from bananas.

“This will be the first royal wedding cake made from bananas”, a source close to the couple told The Telegraph.

As well as acting as a symbol for their affection, Prince Harry is said to love “anything with banana”.

His former royal chef, Darren McGrady, has previously spoken about making the young Prince a caramel and banana cake.

Wedding tradition dictates that the top tier of the cake is a fruit cake, because it is long lasting and is then served at the christening of the couple’s first child.

Their apparent decision to go with a banana cake, instead of the typical fruit cake, is similar to the Duke and Duchess.

Harry and His Jungle Woman Starting a Family Soon, According to Him

Wow! Niglets crawling around the palace. The Royal photographer is going to have fun with that sh*t.

Harry could have done worse. What if he had met and fallen for Chelsea Clinton.

My God! Hillary and Bill and dumb Chelsea all cozied up to the Royal family. That’s just too scary to think about.

Daily Mail

Prince Harry last night confessed he fell in love with Meghan Markle the moment they met on a blind date.

Lifting the lid on their whirlwind romance, he said ‘the stars were aligned’ when ‘this beautiful woman fell into my life’.

The lovestruck Prince declared his late mother Diana would have been ‘jumping up and down’ with excitement at the news he is to marry Miss Markle this spring. Harry, 33, also promised he and the American actress, 36, will start a family ‘in the near future’.

Miss Markle, who has quit her role in the television drama Suits and will now become a full-time royal, yesterday spent time ‘utterly charming’ the staff at the couple’s new home in Kensington Palace.

I don’t doubt that the Royal bride is charming. She’s an actress after all. That’s what actresses do to get roles. They smile a lot and compliment people.

Their romance has moved swiftly. In an extraordinarily candid interview yesterday, they revealed how they went on just two dates in London last July before a besotted Harry invited her on a magical camping holiday in Botswana. They shared a tent under the stars ‘in the middle of nowhere’.

Yesterday at a photocall in Kensington Palace’s Sunken Garden – much loved by Diana – Harry was asked: ‘When did you know she was the one?’ He replied: ‘When did I know? From the very first time we met.’

Smart lad, that Harry. The old “love at first sight” answer is surely going to please the Royal fiance.

Last night he confessed: ‘The fact that I fell in love with Meghan so incredibly quickly was confirmation to me that all the stars were aligned – everything was just perfect. It was this beautiful woman – just sort of literally tripped and fell into my life; I fell into her life.

‘We’re a fantastic team, we know we are, and we hope over time to try to have as much impact on all the things we care about as possible.’

A team, eh? They can’t do any worse than that abomination consisting of George Clooney and his Muslim tranny, Amal Clooney.

I guess the Royals figured it was too early to bring a tranny into the family. At least Meghan was born a woman. I think.

As news of their engagement spread across the world, it emerged that:

Harry popped the question on one knee earlier this month while they were cooking roast chicken at his cottage in Kensington Palace;

He gave her a ring he designed himself from diamonds belonging to his mother;

The couple will have a church wedding in spring 2018 – but will probably avoid early April when the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge’s third child is due;

The PM has ruled out a bank holiday and Windsor Castle’s chapel emerged as favourite to host the royal wedding;

Harry said his mother and his bride-to-be would have been ‘thick as thieves’ and ‘best friends’;

Miss Markle could become a princess but is more likely to be given the title Duchess of Sussex;

The Archbishop of Canterbury said the couple had ‘chosen to make their vows before God’;

Meghan’s beloved rescue dog Guy is now at the palace but her other dog Bogart is still in Canada with friends.

Despite feverish speculation last week, the Mail understands that while the announcement has been in the offing for some time, yesterday was always the planned date.

At 2pm the smiling couple made it official by posing for photographs arm in arm in the Sunken Garden – where Harry and his brother William had white roses planted in Diana’s memory on the 20th anniversary of her death.

As psy ops promoting interracial romances go, this one could be worse. Harry could have paired off with some total Nog from Nogland with a foul mouth and loads of ugly tats on her butt.

Meghan is also a dog lover, so maybe some good will come to our canine friends as she takes the world stage as a Duchess.

MEGHAN WITH HER DOGS. THEY GET TO SLEEP IN THE ROYAL BED NOW.

Jews Crowing Over Jewish Princess Meghan Markel Joining Royal Family

ENGAGEMENT PHOTO.

Rachel “Meghan” Markle’s father is alleged to be a Jew. That’s enough to get Jews excited about a Jew in the Royal Family.

I’m sure British immigration policy will allow for one more black Jew to enter the country. Like many Nigs, she’ll be supported by the British people and their tax dollars. Unlike the rest of them, she’ll be royalty of sorts.

Jewish Forward

Jewish and black girls have been mocked for their hair, their bodies and their other-ness. But they might be about to get a heroine at Buckingham Palace.

It’s a real-life fairy tale for everyone who has been feeling like a pre-ball Cinderella in the Trump era: Prince Harry, the international playboy and longtime sex-symbol who is fifth in line for the British throne, has announced his engagement to Meghan Markle, an American actress.

Markle is known for her work in the American TV show “Suits”. Her mother is black and her father is white. And though many publications have reported that Markle’s father is Jewish, a publicist denied that she herself is a member of the tribe.

“Just to clarify…she is not Jewish,” said Chantal Artur, the publicist, in an email, without elaborating.

Markle, who told Elle that she answers the question “What are you” every single week of her life, has not spoken to the media about her religious background or that of her father.

SORORIETY PHOTO.

But she has given some serious Queen Esther vibes. Here are 4 kind of, sort of Jewish things about her:

Her real name is Rachel. While we have all met 90-100 wonderful Megans, Meagans, and Meghans at Jewish summer camp, ‘Rachel’ is straight out of Genesis and totally the kind of name your dad would give you if he was trying to subtly imbue your identity with your religious heritage. Plus, changing your name (or in this case, taking your middle name as a stage name) is a classic rite of passage for Jewish performers. Just ask Natalie Hershlag and Jonathan Stuart Leibowitz.

Markle’s first marriage was to film producer Trevor Engelson, a Jewish man from Great Neck, New York. Their wedding involved what The Sun tersely referred to as a “traditional Jewish chair dance”.

She has said that she is sometimes labeled “Sephardic” at auditions. Think about it—35-year old actresses and lifestyle gurus don’t throw around the word Sephardic unless they are Sephardic. She might as well change her name to “Kitniyot Markle”.

Disney has had a frog prince, a lion king, and a royal mermaid, and all we’ve had is the Crusades followed by the Inquisition. A Jewish princess just seems fair.

If it were only the name Rachel, dayeinu. If it were just the “Jewish chair dance”, dayeinu. But the greatest evidence in this biur chametz-like hunt for crumbs of Markle’s Jewish identity is that a spokesman for Westminster Abbey confirmed on behalf of the Church of England that, if they choose, Markle and Prince Harry will be able to marry within the church in an “interfaith” marriage, regardless of Markle’s “Jewish background”.

This brings us to the next booshah-turned-equality-milestone, which is that Markle has been married and divorced. And according to the Church of England, if that’s good enough for Henry the 8th, it should be good enough for his fellow ginger ladykiller (so to speak,) Prince Harry.

So if our hypothesis is correct and Markle and Harry marry, Markle will be the first black, Jewish, divorcee, American princess in English history. It’s worth noting that Markle is also two years older than the Prince, making their marriage a triumph for several pie slices in the chart of disadvantaged identity groups.

This may also be the first time an actress famous for a movie called “Horrible Bosses” gets to meet the Queen of England.

It’s a shehechianu moment to beat all shehechianu moments.

The cherry on top of the sufganiyot-Kwanzaa-cake hybrid? Markle is a noted feminist. She serves as a UN Women advocate and an ambassador for World Vision.

As they say in another story of unlikely royalty, “The Prince of Egypt”: “There can be miracles when you believe”.

The excitement over the oil driller and his Nigkike future princess (or whatever title she gets) is just beginning. ABC News is excited. How about you?

Prince Harry and Nigkike Meghan Markel Expected to Announce Engagement Soon

I’m not looking forward to seeing the Brits make fools of themselves over a royal wedding involving these two.

By marrying half black and half Jewish Meghan, Prince Harry is inviting trouble into his life with a capital T. Did he do serious drugs or something as a youth?!

Business Insider

Prince Harry is believed to announce his engagement to actress Meghan Markle imminently, according to a Daily Mail report on Thursday.

Betting groups have suspended taking bets on when the highly anticipated royal wedding will take place, after the BBC was rumoured to make an announcement.

An online betting company told the Daily Mail, “Royal watchers would love a Christmas engagement announcement, and as far as we’re concerned it’s coming imminently.”

Harry reportedly had a crush on Markle for two years, and finally arranged a meeting through a mutual friend in 2016. Numerous photographs and videos of the couple have surfaced, including one where the two were spotted kissing at a sporting event in September.

Harry made the leap and introduced Markle to the Queen at Buckingham Palace in October, the Daily Mail reported.

Markle is believed to have moved out of her home in Toronto, according to the Daily Mail, and is planning to move to London with her dogs.

DID SOMEONE LIGHTEN HER SKIN COLOR IN THIS PHOTO?

MARKEL’S NOSE SEEMS TO HAVE MAGICALLY NARROWED SINCE HIGH SCHOOL.

HARRY’S FUTURE MOTHER IN LAW.

The British Royal Family has been a clownshow for decades. It’s turning into a sh*tshow now.

Harry’s genes certainly do not suggest he’s the son of Prince Charles. Whoever is his father is surely sad to see his genes mixed with those of a black woman. Harry’s children won’t look like him or his ancestors. I hope that bothers him, but it probably doesn’t.

The laughs will come easy when Harry’s mother-in-law enters public life as an extended member of the royal family. I’m expecting something like The Black Beverly Hillbillies Come to Buckingham Palace.

The palace cooks better know how to make KFC and carve up a watermelon.