Monkey Food: Prince Harry and Meghan Markle want wedding cake made from banana, source claims

MEGHAN MARKLE ENJOYING HER FAVORITE SNACK.

I couldn’t make this story up if I tried really hard.

The Prince and his Duchess are going to be giving us many amusing moments in the future, it appears.

Excerpt from The Telegraph

Thirteen months ago, Meghan Markle’s cryptic Instagram post of two bananas “cuddling” signalled the start of her whirlwind romance with Prince Harry.

The picture – accompanied by the message “sleep tight” and two kisses – sent fans into overdrive as they speculated that it was likely a symbol of their long-distance love.

Now, it seems, the fruit is set to play a central role in their wedding too.

The Daily Telegraph can reveal that the couple, who announced their engagement last week, are planning on marking their big day with a wedding cake made from bananas.

“This will be the first royal wedding cake made from bananas”, a source close to the couple told The Telegraph.

As well as acting as a symbol for their affection, Prince Harry is said to love “anything with banana”.

His former royal chef, Darren McGrady, has previously spoken about making the young Prince a caramel and banana cake.

Wedding tradition dictates that the top tier of the cake is a fruit cake, because it is long lasting and is then served at the christening of the couple’s first child.

Their apparent decision to go with a banana cake, instead of the typical fruit cake, is similar to the Duke and Duchess.

Jewish Mudshark’s Remains Found after Police Tipped Off by Arrested Nog Ex-Husband

JULIA JACOBSON. FOUND BURIED IN A SHALLOW GRAVE.

DALEN WARE. HUBBY LED POLICE TO THE GRAVE.

We can have a debate on whether dead mudshark Julia Jacobson was Jewish, but it doesn’t matter in the end. What matters is that she crossed the color line and ended up dead for her personal version of multiculturalism.

New York Daily News

The ex-husband of a retired Army captain missing since September tipped off investigators in California to the location of her remains.

Dalen Ware in October was arrested on the suspicion that he murdered his ex-wife, Julia Jacobson, despite authorities never finding her body.

Investigators on Friday uncovered remains they believe belong to Jacobson in a shallow grave thanks to a tip from Ware, who cooperated in leading authorities to the location near 10 Freeway and Box Canyon Road, KTLA reported.

Police said she was buried alongside her dog, Boogie, at the unincorporated area known as “Cactus City.”

THE BLACK BASTARD KILLED HER DOG TOO.

Continue reading

Harry and His Jungle Woman Starting a Family Soon, According to Him

Wow! Niglets crawling around the palace. The Royal photographer is going to have fun with that sh*t.

Harry could have done worse. What if he had met and fallen for Chelsea Clinton.

My God! Hillary and Bill and dumb Chelsea all cozied up to the Royal family. That’s just too scary to think about.

Daily Mail

Prince Harry last night confessed he fell in love with Meghan Markle the moment they met on a blind date.

Lifting the lid on their whirlwind romance, he said ‘the stars were aligned’ when ‘this beautiful woman fell into my life’.

The lovestruck Prince declared his late mother Diana would have been ‘jumping up and down’ with excitement at the news he is to marry Miss Markle this spring. Harry, 33, also promised he and the American actress, 36, will start a family ‘in the near future’.

Miss Markle, who has quit her role in the television drama Suits and will now become a full-time royal, yesterday spent time ‘utterly charming’ the staff at the couple’s new home in Kensington Palace.

I don’t doubt that the Royal bride is charming. She’s an actress after all. That’s what actresses do to get roles. They smile a lot and compliment people.

Their romance has moved swiftly. In an extraordinarily candid interview yesterday, they revealed how they went on just two dates in London last July before a besotted Harry invited her on a magical camping holiday in Botswana. They shared a tent under the stars ‘in the middle of nowhere’.

Yesterday at a photocall in Kensington Palace’s Sunken Garden – much loved by Diana – Harry was asked: ‘When did you know she was the one?’ He replied: ‘When did I know? From the very first time we met.’

Smart lad, that Harry. The old “love at first sight” answer is surely going to please the Royal fiance.

Last night he confessed: ‘The fact that I fell in love with Meghan so incredibly quickly was confirmation to me that all the stars were aligned – everything was just perfect. It was this beautiful woman – just sort of literally tripped and fell into my life; I fell into her life.

‘We’re a fantastic team, we know we are, and we hope over time to try to have as much impact on all the things we care about as possible.’

A team, eh? They can’t do any worse than that abomination consisting of George Clooney and his Muslim tranny, Amal Clooney.

I guess the Royals figured it was too early to bring a tranny into the family. At least Meghan was born a woman. I think.

As news of their engagement spread across the world, it emerged that:

Harry popped the question on one knee earlier this month while they were cooking roast chicken at his cottage in Kensington Palace;

He gave her a ring he designed himself from diamonds belonging to his mother;

The couple will have a church wedding in spring 2018 – but will probably avoid early April when the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge’s third child is due;

The PM has ruled out a bank holiday and Windsor Castle’s chapel emerged as favourite to host the royal wedding;

Harry said his mother and his bride-to-be would have been ‘thick as thieves’ and ‘best friends’;

Miss Markle could become a princess but is more likely to be given the title Duchess of Sussex;

The Archbishop of Canterbury said the couple had ‘chosen to make their vows before God’;

Meghan’s beloved rescue dog Guy is now at the palace but her other dog Bogart is still in Canada with friends.

Despite feverish speculation last week, the Mail understands that while the announcement has been in the offing for some time, yesterday was always the planned date.

At 2pm the smiling couple made it official by posing for photographs arm in arm in the Sunken Garden – where Harry and his brother William had white roses planted in Diana’s memory on the 20th anniversary of her death.

As psy ops promoting interracial romances go, this one could be worse. Harry could have paired off with some total Nog from Nogland with a foul mouth and loads of ugly tats on her butt.

Meghan is also a dog lover, so maybe some good will come to our canine friends as she takes the world stage as a Duchess.

MEGHAN WITH HER DOGS. THEY GET TO SLEEP IN THE ROYAL BED NOW.

Negro Wanted for Murder of White Wife and Sister-in-Law Offs Himself with a Bullet to the Head

THE NEGRO KILLED HIS WIFE AND HIMSELF.

HE ALSO KILLED HIS WIFE’S SISTER, RIGHT.

The world’s most talented Negro (he had a Bachelor’s degree, you see) simply could not go on because the world just couldn’t recognize his brilliance.

When you can’t go on, the obvious thing to do is to bring your white wife on the ride into eternity.

But Negro Darrel Jackson proved his creative side. He took his sister-in-law with him and his wife too.

Darrel, you would have been really creative if you had taken your mulatto sprog with you too. That would have completed the family.

Mourn for the loss of the genius that was Darrel, world. Why couldn’t you appreciate him.

Daily Mail

An Indiana man wanted for questioning in a double murder of his estranged wife and sister-in-law has died of an apparent suicide in Arkansas, police say.

Jonesboro Police Sgt. Cassie Brandon said Sunday that 29-year-old Darrel Jackson was found dead Friday afternoon inside a car in Jonesboro with an apparent self-inflicted gunshot wound to the head.

A police report says a Smith and Wesson 9-mm handgun was recovered at the scene.

Jackson was wanted in connection to the deaths of sisters 20-year-old Meredith Opel and 27-year-old Mallory Jackson; the latter was the suspect’s estranged wife and the mother of his young child.

According to police, the women were found dead Friday with trauma to their bodies, but the causes of deaths are undetermined.

Investigators believe Jackson killed his wife and her sister at a home in Indianapolis, then drove nearly 400 miles to Jonesboro, where he had relatives.

He parked his 2011 Nissan Sentra behind his family’s home, then sent his father a text message saying ‘he could not take it no longer.’

At around 2.40pm local time on Friday, Jackson’s father and brother emerged from the house and found Darrel dead in the front seat of his car.

Four hours later, police in Indianapolis discovered the bodies of Jackson’s wife and her younger sister in a home in the 4500 block of Stone Mill Drive.

Police would only say that the two women suffered ‘apparent trauma,’ reported The Indianapolis Star.

According to her obituary, Mallory Jackson worked as a licensed practical nurse for American Senior Communities at Rosewalk Village who will be ‘fondly remembered as an honest and hard-working person who was fiercely loyal to those she loved and those who loved her.’
She is survived by her and Darrel Jackson’s young daughter, Camilla Rose.

Her sister Meredith was a senior at the University of Southern Indiana, where she was a Presidential Scholar majoring in sociology and political science.

‘Meredith was determined to make a difference in the world. She was a free spirit, joyful, adventurous, loyal, goal oriented, and inspiring,’ the obituary read.

According to his Facebook page, Darrel Jackson married Mallory Opel in October 2015, and the two welcomed their daughter in early 2016.
Police said they were familiar with the young family, having been called to their home on Stone Mill Drive recently for a domestic dispute, the details of which have not been disclosed.

Final post: Jackson, 29, lamented on Facebook before his suicide that meant ‘nothing to this world’

Final post: Jackson, 29, lamented on Facebook before his suicide that meant ‘nothing to this world’

On the day of the double murder-suicide, Jackson posted a despairing, rambling status update on his Facebook page, which opened with the words: ‘Nothing to this world.’
He went on to write: ‘no support, no prospects, earning a bachelor’s earned me even less progress. No need for my Talents or Wisdom, Corporate America must have a predetermined vision. My only Motive was to overcome and inspire, but as slamming doors became rhythmic, my hope soon expired.

‘Before you judge me take a second to realize, all the faith you could have restored before the demise.. Look Around, There are still more living and determined individuals with nothing to lose, a progressive drive, and everything to gain. Assist when possible! Without it, They may soon become nothing to this world.’

About 20 minutes earlier, he posted a photo of his father’s house in the 100 block of North Drake Street in Jonesboro, Arkansas, writing ominously in the caption: ‘Where I first learned to shoot [hoops], 20 years ago!’

SO LONG DARREL. WE HARDLY KNEW YE.

Everyone warns these stupid sluts, but they never listen: Avoid the groid. Around blacks, never relax. You’re 8 to 12 times more likely to die when you have a Nog around the house as when you have a white man.

Jews Crowing Over Jewish Princess Meghan Markel Joining Royal Family

ENGAGEMENT PHOTO.

Rachel “Meghan” Markle’s father is alleged to be a Jew. That’s enough to get Jews excited about a Jew in the Royal Family.

I’m sure British immigration policy will allow for one more black Jew to enter the country. Like many Nigs, she’ll be supported by the British people and their tax dollars. Unlike the rest of them, she’ll be royalty of sorts.

Jewish Forward

Jewish and black girls have been mocked for their hair, their bodies and their other-ness. But they might be about to get a heroine at Buckingham Palace.

It’s a real-life fairy tale for everyone who has been feeling like a pre-ball Cinderella in the Trump era: Prince Harry, the international playboy and longtime sex-symbol who is fifth in line for the British throne, has announced his engagement to Meghan Markle, an American actress.

Markle is known for her work in the American TV show “Suits”. Her mother is black and her father is white. And though many publications have reported that Markle’s father is Jewish, a publicist denied that she herself is a member of the tribe.

“Just to clarify…she is not Jewish,” said Chantal Artur, the publicist, in an email, without elaborating.

Markle, who told Elle that she answers the question “What are you” every single week of her life, has not spoken to the media about her religious background or that of her father.

SORORIETY PHOTO.

But she has given some serious Queen Esther vibes. Here are 4 kind of, sort of Jewish things about her:

Her real name is Rachel. While we have all met 90-100 wonderful Megans, Meagans, and Meghans at Jewish summer camp, ‘Rachel’ is straight out of Genesis and totally the kind of name your dad would give you if he was trying to subtly imbue your identity with your religious heritage. Plus, changing your name (or in this case, taking your middle name as a stage name) is a classic rite of passage for Jewish performers. Just ask Natalie Hershlag and Jonathan Stuart Leibowitz.

Markle’s first marriage was to film producer Trevor Engelson, a Jewish man from Great Neck, New York. Their wedding involved what The Sun tersely referred to as a “traditional Jewish chair dance”.

She has said that she is sometimes labeled “Sephardic” at auditions. Think about it—35-year old actresses and lifestyle gurus don’t throw around the word Sephardic unless they are Sephardic. She might as well change her name to “Kitniyot Markle”.

Disney has had a frog prince, a lion king, and a royal mermaid, and all we’ve had is the Crusades followed by the Inquisition. A Jewish princess just seems fair.

If it were only the name Rachel, dayeinu. If it were just the “Jewish chair dance”, dayeinu. But the greatest evidence in this biur chametz-like hunt for crumbs of Markle’s Jewish identity is that a spokesman for Westminster Abbey confirmed on behalf of the Church of England that, if they choose, Markle and Prince Harry will be able to marry within the church in an “interfaith” marriage, regardless of Markle’s “Jewish background”.

This brings us to the next booshah-turned-equality-milestone, which is that Markle has been married and divorced. And according to the Church of England, if that’s good enough for Henry the 8th, it should be good enough for his fellow ginger ladykiller (so to speak,) Prince Harry.

So if our hypothesis is correct and Markle and Harry marry, Markle will be the first black, Jewish, divorcee, American princess in English history. It’s worth noting that Markle is also two years older than the Prince, making their marriage a triumph for several pie slices in the chart of disadvantaged identity groups.

This may also be the first time an actress famous for a movie called “Horrible Bosses” gets to meet the Queen of England.

It’s a shehechianu moment to beat all shehechianu moments.

The cherry on top of the sufganiyot-Kwanzaa-cake hybrid? Markle is a noted feminist. She serves as a UN Women advocate and an ambassador for World Vision.

As they say in another story of unlikely royalty, “The Prince of Egypt”: “There can be miracles when you believe”.

The excitement over the oil driller and his Nigkike future princess (or whatever title she gets) is just beginning. ABC News is excited. How about you?

Glee’s Naya Rivera: Beaner TV Star Arrested for Domestic Battery on Oil Driller Spouse

ACTRESS NAYA RIVERA. BOOK HER DANNO.

NOT EXACTLY MY IDEA OF HOLLYWOOD GLAMOUR.

Is a fiery hot tempestuous Latina your idea of the ideal mate, white man?

There is a downside besides the brown you’ll be waking up to for the rest of your life.

There’s also red. As in the color of your blood after you take a beating from your Senorita.

DAMN THAT’S UGLY.

Daily Mail

One month after she called off her divorce from Ryan Dorsey, Naya Rvera has been arrested and charged with domestic battery against her husband.

The former Glee star was arrested at a home in Kanawha County, West Virginia, on Saturday, according to local TV station WSAZ-TV.

The news station posted a photo and video of the actress, 30, in handcuffs and being arraigned.

She has now been released on $1,000 bond and local TV reporter Jatara McGee said on Twitter that her father-in-law had been the one to pick her up.

Rivera, 30, filed for divorce from Dorsey, 34, in 2016 after two years of marriage. But in October she ended legal proceedings.
The couple share a two-year-old son, Josey.

WSAV-TV and WCHS-TV reported that deputies were called to the home around 9:30 p.m. Saturday for a domestic situation.

Dorsey told the responding officers that Rivera had struck him in the head and bottom lip while they were taking their son for a walk.

According to local news reports, he provided cell phone video of the incident to law enforcement.

LOOKING RATHER BOOTLIPPED HERE.

Rivera and Dorsey first dated in 2010 but the actress called time on the relationship as she became famous for her role as cheerleader Santana Lopez on Glee.

Following the split, she had an abortion, something she only revealed to Dorsey in September 2016 while promoting her memoir Sorry Not Sorry: Dreams, Mistakes, and Growing Up.

In November that year, they separated and Rivera filed for divorce seeking primary physical custody of their son with visitation for Dorsey.

In October, when deciding not to proceed with the end of their marriage, an insider told E! News: ‘They want to make it work for the sake of their son.’

Although the Senorita can look presentable after hours of makeup, hair styling and other glamorizing, at the heart of it she’s nothing more than a gussied up lettuce picker.

I wonder if the white male dude married her to get his hands on her money because in all likelihood he will be collecting alimony and child support.

WITH EX-BOYFRIEND BIG SEAN.

Prince Harry and Nigkike Meghan Markel Expected to Announce Engagement Soon

I’m not looking forward to seeing the Brits make fools of themselves over a royal wedding involving these two.

By marrying half black and half Jewish Meghan, Prince Harry is inviting trouble into his life with a capital T. Did he do serious drugs or something as a youth?!

Business Insider

Prince Harry is believed to announce his engagement to actress Meghan Markle imminently, according to a Daily Mail report on Thursday.

Betting groups have suspended taking bets on when the highly anticipated royal wedding will take place, after the BBC was rumoured to make an announcement.

An online betting company told the Daily Mail, “Royal watchers would love a Christmas engagement announcement, and as far as we’re concerned it’s coming imminently.”

Harry reportedly had a crush on Markle for two years, and finally arranged a meeting through a mutual friend in 2016. Numerous photographs and videos of the couple have surfaced, including one where the two were spotted kissing at a sporting event in September.

Harry made the leap and introduced Markle to the Queen at Buckingham Palace in October, the Daily Mail reported.

Markle is believed to have moved out of her home in Toronto, according to the Daily Mail, and is planning to move to London with her dogs.

DID SOMEONE LIGHTEN HER SKIN COLOR IN THIS PHOTO?

MARKEL’S NOSE SEEMS TO HAVE MAGICALLY NARROWED SINCE HIGH SCHOOL.

HARRY’S FUTURE MOTHER IN LAW.

The British Royal Family has been a clownshow for decades. It’s turning into a sh*tshow now.

Harry’s genes certainly do not suggest he’s the son of Prince Charles. Whoever is his father is surely sad to see his genes mixed with those of a black woman. Harry’s children won’t look like him or his ancestors. I hope that bothers him, but it probably doesn’t.

The laughs will come easy when Harry’s mother-in-law enters public life as an extended member of the royal family. I’m expecting something like The Black Beverly Hillbillies Come to Buckingham Palace.

The palace cooks better know how to make KFC and carve up a watermelon.