Woman Claims that Jesus was a Negroid Cultural Marxist

DAMN! JESUS WAS ONE HANDSOME NIGGA.

A woman who says she’s not a Jew writes that Jesus would stand by and watch every shred of decency in a Christian culture be obliterated.

Jesus, you see, was a Negroid cultural Marxist.

Don’t laugh. The Pope probably agrees with her.

A Gentle Reminder That Jesus Was A Brown Middle Eastern Refugee Who Would Not Have Voted For Trump

Sara Benincasa
Comedian and author. My latest book is Real Artists Have Day Jobs http://amzn.to/1JWsgxy

SARA BENINCASA.

He might have flipped over some tables at Mar-a-Lago, though.

Jesus was a brown Middle Eastern refugee child of Jews (Islam didn’t exist yet, something I had to point out to a guy who said “well they weren’t Radical Islamists”) who was born in a stable because there was no room at the inn. We’re clear on that, right? That’s the origin story of our nation’s favorite superhero.

And then he grew up to offer free healthcare and protest against a colonial occupying power as well as its manipulative local patsies. We get that, right?

And he died, murdered by conservatives who preached the rule of a police state over compassionate humanity. You understand that’s what you learned in church, right? That’s what that story is about.

Jesus was a lot of things. He was not a conservative.

Many folks rightly point out that the Bible is an assembly of myths and fables and stories that cannot be proven true. It’s been edited over and over and over again by countless folks (read: men, mostly) and it’s been a political tool from the very start. But if you say, “Who cares about the Bible?” my response is, “Most folks in the US of A, actually.” Believers are a vast and diverse group. Many of them are progressive, liberal, or moderate. And when the GOP is run by charlatans who wield the name of Christ as a weapon, the Bible does matter. Very much.

Mind you, I’m not sure if Jesus would’ve voted at all. He probably would’ve been off somewhere with Doctors Without Borders, bringing medicine to the most vulnerable people in the world. (And you can donate to them here.) Or perhaps he would’ve been building homes for Syrian refugee children. Probably would’ve been doing something wonderful for poor children, is what I’m saying. Unlike Donald Trump, to whom the Lord would’ve likely had something to say about a camel going through the eye of a needle.

I am 100% sure he would not have voted for a guy who talks about how impoverished Mexican economic refugees are “rapists.” He wouldn’t have voted for the guy who talks about grabbing “pussy,” sexually assaulting women, sexually harassing women, and so on and so forth. I’m pretty sure of that. Jesus wasn’t a slut-shamer and he wasn’t a body-shamer. Too busy healing the sick kids with the free healthcare and the such. Plus, he was kind to women, even women folks denigrated or shunned. He treated them like humans. He stood up for scared, vulnerable people. And he never said a word about men who fall in love with men or women who fall in love with women.

On a personal note: if you come at me using the Bible as a prop to spew your xenophobia, your racism, your stupidity, your hatred of science and reason, your rage at the existence of poor folks who don’t look like you, and your woman-hating bullshit, I will take it from you and smack you back. I may as well use my childhood indoctrination for some good. It delights me when they look at a queer feminist progressive and think I can’t play. I used to win Bible challenges in catechism class all the time. I was raised on this shit.

P.S. I’m sorry, evangelical conservatives: some Catholics actually DO read the Bible. More than one Bible, actually. I know it’s weird.

Sorry, I get my theology from serious male theologians who’ve spent their lives studying religion. I don’t get my theology from women comedians.

As much as I wished the writer of this hate speech were an ugly freak like Lena Dunham or Rosie O’Donnell, she’s not. In fact, she’s pretty attractuve.

I know. That makes me a sexist pig to say that.

So, remembering that she’s not a Jew, would you be interested, guys? I would be. If I could figure out a way to shut her up.

14 thoughts on “Woman Claims that Jesus was a Negroid Cultural Marxist

  1. Pingback: Woman Claims that Jesus was a Negroid Cultural Marxist | Afro Futurism

  2. It’s usually cute girls like this that go against us. It is assumed that it will be more effective than the alternatives. It usually works.

  3. In my personal experience when conversation turns to Jesus, 99 out of 100 supposed believers agree with the woman……we are done for

  4. The saviour was not a Jew. He called them the children of Satan. He, like most Gallileans, was over 6 ft tall. Markedly blue eyes and blond hair. This is not my point here however
    The bitch dog quoted in this article could not sit at a table with me and prove her knowledge of anything but catechism to me. Knowkedge if the Bible? Rorhahaha! Haha haha haha.
    My Haha haha sides are hurting! Weeeeee hahahahaha!
    The desciples themselves could not understand the mysterious man from the heavens. It was after the resurrection that he opened the scriptures to them
    The Jews had already hidden the name of God from the IsURlites ( white race) they had hidden the real URsalem and they trembled ( in anger and fear) in this Gallilean’s presence. He was totally unafraid of them.
    They knew ,as everyone knew, this man’s status from a distance because of the way he wore what is today called a kilt. Yes! Yes! What do YOU think a ROBE is? What the Jews have you believe! A long dress with a woman’s hood on it? Wahahaha.
    The bitch dog in this article knows nothing about the Bible. I have studied it since the age of seven. I am 75 now and I still hold it in awe. It is an unearthly intelligent living word it has locks and mechanisms that have to be studied..not rehearsed..studied.
    It is warm milk to a hungry babe and it is meat to be chewed for a hungry man.; it is, at the same time, to be brought back up, as cows, deer and goats and SHEEP do; a cud to be chewed.
    This bitch dog can cachemize all it desires. The meaning of scriptures is locked away from her forever because of that one sin never one is never forgiven of- Blasphemy of the Heiligieh Geist ( Holy Ghost)

    I will spare the readers the several living scriptures of life that state succinctly that the saviour taught the multitudes in parables and in parables only.
    The descioles asked him once. ” Why do you teach in parables?”
    The saviour’s astonishing answer was : ” I speak in parables so that the wicked do not hear and understand and reoent and I must save them”
    Did you catch that, reader?
    Even the wicked will be saved if they repent.
    Not even JES U Know who, l”loving the whole wide world” as it is taught, wants the wicked to hear and understand
    Now you see why this birch dog, sidomites and all enemies of God are repulsed by Scripture. The same way the English are repulsed by The wearing of the Kilt and the musick of the Bagpipes! BTW, the works music in the Bible is often spelled MUSICK . Most scholars agree with me that MUSICK, ( sic) can only come from bagpipes. Not exactly Jewish, ay?

  5. Bene Noté: Since the Jews (philistines) took the ark of the covenant and everything the Nordic tribes had-including the name of God.
    ( No it was NOT Jehovah, nor El, Nor Yahweh and certainly not LO_D G_D. And it certainly was not JE S _ S )
    The desciples themselves came to the saviour and asked them who the father was. Waaaaa!
    One day I may post an article revealing this source of knowledge- maybe not.:)
    Did the saviour teach NATIONALISM? You bet! He said, “I have come only for the lost SHEEP of UsURal” ( Jews want you to pronounce the God of Egypt by saying , IsRAel (Our Father in Heaven forbids the very act of saying the names of these entities.)
    Did the Saviour teach Welfare and socialist medicine?
    Absolutely not!
    Think in terms of MATRIX.
    The saviour taught that everything his people ( SHEEP) knew was a lie

  6. Bene Noté#2
    I am on a rant! Why do intelligent white people spend hours studying the Jewish toy, Rubic’s Cube, and can’t study for a moment, John 3:16 which glaringly disagrees with James 4:4 ?
    John 3:16, ‘ for God so loved the world that he sent his only begotten son. . ”
    James 4:4, listen you adulterers and adultresses, a friend to the world is an enemy to God ”
    How many of you can see that most Christians are an enemy to God?

  7. This womyn/ze/zir/xe might be a jewess or not. Regardless, her blather is jew spew. My keen Sherlock Holmes power of observation notices that this womyn is in her 30’s with no wedding ring. I will presume she is child-less but has a cat surrogate child. She is looking for her brief moment of fame/notoriety. It is sad that there are millions of deluded, tetched in the head American women like this.

  8. This woman spews vitriol like a Jew.

    Christ and Christianity is a soft target which all comedians love to put the boot in to. Christians are not allowed to kill them or this woman in reprisal, unfortunately. Why does she not instead mock the beliefs of the Jews and the Muslims? I stopped reading her rant half way through but I doubt she had the guts to critic the Holy Joos or the Untouchable Moozies.

  9. Jesus > “He Dindu Nuffin Bad” (so he must’ve been Black, right?)

    Humor, fellas. No, I don’t buy that he was Black. Though, yes, he could have been olive-skinned.

    Isaiah ch.53 (a Messianic prophecy) says he had no special appearance that anyone would take notice of him. So Jesus was probably rather average looking.

    As for thay crazy woman, probably Jewish pretending to have been Catholic. Whatever, she’s just another deluded brained Libtard, with too many errors in her socalled Biblical expertise to correct. It would take all day!

    • I always hope that when I do posts on people like her that she’ll visit the article and read the comments showing what normal people think of people like her. There’s really nothing worse than an angry woman comedian. I’m sure her intended audience is young hipster women.

  10. Nothing like a progressive, who knows nothing about Christianity and could care less, trying to adapt it to their religion of Statism and preach to the rest of us the Gospel According to Karl.

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