Pranking Professor’s Deliberately Nonsensical Paper Accepted at Academic Conference


When I was a professor I was at a disadvantage because I like my writing to be straightforward and plain.

Many academic papers are written to deliberately obfuscate the issues involved. It makes the author seem more learned.

Daily Mail

An academic who jokingly wrote a research paper written entirely by Apple’s iOS autocomplete – and was subsequently filled with nonsense – has been accepted to present his findings at a nuclear physics conference.

Christopher Bartneck, an associate professor at the University of Canterbury’s Human Interface Technology laboratory in New Zealand, was stunned to discover he had been successful in securing a place at the conference, which takes place in America next month.

‘I started a sentence with ‘Atomic’ or ‘Nuclear’ and then randomly hit the autocomplete suggestions,’ wrote Bartneck in a blog post on Thursday. ‘The text really does not make any sense.’

Bartneck’s mischievous side was fired up after receiving an invitation from the International Conference on Atomic and Nuclear Physics, which will be held in Atlanta in November.

‘Since I have practically no knowledge of Nuclear Physics I resorted to iOS auto-complete function to help me,” explained Bartneck.
The resulting paper is complete gobbledygook.

Nuclear weapons will not have to come out the same day after a long time of the year,’ it states.

‘The atoms of a better universe will have the right for the same as you,’ it adds, before continuing: ‘Physics are great but the way it does it makes you want a good book.’

In case that hasn’t baffled readers enough, the paper concludes: ‘Power is not a great place for a good time.’

The paper’s title is also the brainchild of Apple iOS, with the incomprehensible: ‘Atomic Energy will have been made available to a single source.’

Bartneck added the first picture he came across on Wikipedia to illustrate nuclear physics and created a not-so-subtle fake name, Iris Pear – a play on Siri Apple.

Not thinking anyone could possibly take him seriously, he even made up ‘Umbria Polytech University’ located in ‘Infinite Loop’ in Cupertino, California.

But within just three hours he received an acceptance email in his inbox.

Kudos to the professor for exposing the higher education scam by just a little bit. A lot more could be done if one could find more honest people in higher ed. Sadly, most of them are liberals living a lie who don’t want the scam exposed.

laughing woman

4 thoughts on “Pranking Professor’s Deliberately Nonsensical Paper Accepted at Academic Conference

  1. This reminds me of an artist I read about

    He hated the modern art movement so he created a lot of shit art on purpose to ridicule the modern art crowd; they loved his shit art work and made him wealthy,

    These folks are so weird satire is dead

  2. I remember an amusing and simple computer game from 20 years ago. It randomised words in to nonsense sentences such as:
    “Mr Spock levitates yellow coconuts” or….
    “Captain Kirk shags all female life forms and even silicon rocks”.
    Actually the first is genuine from the game but the second one I just made up.

  3. Definition of a “respected” Academic ??
    A person with an IQ in room temperature educated well above it’s capability but being politically correct toward all perverts, morons & scums ??

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